I wrote this on August 25, 2010. Boy has my life changed since this, but let me tell you something dear ones, the word of God NEVER changes. And what HE says about you stands true. I still feel very passionately about the below and want to encourage you in any way that i can to remain pure in a world that is the OPPOSITE of pure.
Please know that this comes from my heart. You are precious to me. Even if i don’t know you. You are precious to me because YOU are precious to God, and i want to be more like him (Lord knows i need him). I also apologize in advance for the grammatical errors. I obviously wrote this in a rush because you all know how much i love grammar and punctation.
The words I am about to speak are in no way coming from a place of judgment. At all…
**If you only knew the levels of insecurity that once filled my heart and mind, that thought wouldn’t even cross your mind..but I have to put a little disclaimer for those of you who aren’t as intimate with me as others.. It is only through Christ love and redemption that I stand before you a very confident young lady.**
Its just funny/sad to me to look out at society and see how broken it is and yet we (Our generation and those before us) still don’t see how much of it is from bad advice..mis-guided parenting..and not relying on a God who has your best interest at heart and who is MADLY in LOVE WITH YOU!
I see many girls (and guys) who are FULL of insecurity…disappointment…and feel that they are of absolutely no value and have no self worth. My heart just breaks for them (and I have been one of there..so again..no judgement..just complete and total heartache).
I sometimes wish I had a giant megaphone that the whole world could hear..and I could just scream at the top of lungs: “YOU ARE VALUABLE. YOU ARE A CHOSEN PRIESTHOOD. YOU ARE ROYAL NATION. YOU HAVE A PURPOSE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SELL YOURSELF SHORT OR GIVE YOURSELF AWAY. YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR. AND IF SOMEONE JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU WITHOUT FULLY BEING COMMITTED TO YOU…TELL THEM WHERE TO GO (Sorry..its just honesty) BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE A QUEEN OR A KING AND DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE. SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR WORTHLESS. BECAUSE YOUR WORTH WAS WORTH THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE COMING TO EARTH TO DIE SO THAT WAY YOU COULD LIVE FOREVER WITH HIM AND BE BLESSED BY HIM ON THIS EARTH and experience a love like no other. And be really fulfilled not just happy for a moment…and then left desperately wanting more of something that always leaves you feeling empty.”
I know all the men (Because they are wired differently than women and sex is something they need and thats OKAY…thats the way God made it…) are like LADY YOU ARE NUTSO. Talking all sorts of crazy…like I shouldn’t have sex until I am married? Well let me just give you some encouragement. IT IS POSSIBLE. AND WORTH IT. (3 years later, i am still in agreement)
Imagine only having that spiritual..emotional connection with one person. It is such a beautiful thing…and imagine how romantic it is…and how many brownie points you will earn with your future spouse…Just saying. Hear a sister out.
If you’ve already had sex and you are starting to feel bad about yourself or defensive-Please don’t. There is no SHAME or condemnation for those who are new in Christ. And there is no place for shame at my table. I don’t have time for people in my life who put shame on others. And I am certainly not one of those people. But I just love you (yes…you..all of you ) And I want you to know how valued you are. And that its okay to be different…
I am not saying living for Christ is this magic world in which everything is just so peachy you can barely stand it. NOT AT ALL.
It is not a piece of cake. The Bible even tells us that it’s not going to be easy. (James 1:2) And frankly its the hard times in life that make us appreciate the good ones..(I did not think of that either..i know you all think I am so smart and lovely and probably thought of it, but I didn’t. Gods word says that too somewhere in Ecclesiastes (The message version)..if you really want to know I can find the verse later..i just didn’t have time)
What I am saying is that when we truly understand WHY God set up the boundaries he did for us…maybe just maybe we could realize that he isn’t just a big bad meany in the sky just waiting to strike us dead with a lightening bolt, but maybe just maybe he actually has our best interest at heart. Maybe just maybe..He’s right…and we’re wrong. Maybe our view of the world is skewed. Maybe we’ve been listening to OURSELVES for way to long..that we can’t even hear the sweet whisper of Christ telling us how much he loves us and who is trying to give us wisdom and understanding. And maybe just maybe..above all HE JUST LOVES US and wants to see us living fulfilled lives filled with passion and purpose.
Maybe there is a reason for the things God ask us to rethink. Maybe you shouldn’t sleep with everyone you can get your hands on..Wanna know why..?? Well for one….Because maybe just maybe…sex is more than just psychical..maybe its spiritual. (We are NOT ANIMALS..i repeat..WE ARE NOT ANIMALS…)
We are creatures filled with emotion and passion..and so when we DUMB SEX DOWN to something animalistic it loses its real purpose and meaning.
Another reason you probably shouldn’t sleep with everyone may be the rapid spread of STDS and HPV for women.
Those are just the ones I can think of and feel are worth mentioning.
I can’t even begin to tell you of the emotional consequences for women who have “casual sex” (which btw..there is no such thing for a women..as hard as she will try to “act like a man”…its impossible). We are emotional by design, and so to have sex with a man is an experience that will connect you on many levels and one that inevitably changes the way you feel and relate to that person.
Anyways..you are probably wondering where this talk is coming from..well today at my office..i had a very interesting conversation. A mother actually said to me that she encouraged her daughter (who made a commitment to stay pure before marriage..) to have sex……”you have to test the waters”..she said (I love this lady though…and am in no way calling her a bad mother…etc)
I just can’t imagine my own mother giving me such advice. Everyone has their own philosophies..But its definitely a thought that needs to be addressed because she isn’t the only mom in the world dishing this kind of information out. Its everywhere. I have heard so many of my guy friends tell me..”I wont buy the car until I test drive it”…this is such a crock of B.S. (Excuse my French..but this is an appropriate time for such harsh words).
Seriously..i mean I think if you really love someone…you can learn how to have really great sex with them. I think that’s the purpose. I think that’s all a part of the 2 becoming one. Why would I want to be with someone who isn’t in it for the long haul anyway…? If I suck in bed..he’s gone..really? Sounds like a cop-out to me..and I wouldn’t want to be with such a foolish, weak, not to mention SELFISH/VAIN person anyway.
Some of you may be saying..Hey that’s me..i am the more the merrier type of person. Let me test the waters and test drive as many cars as I can. Be my guest. I am not trying to shove my opinion down your throat or tell you how bad/wrong you are. But what I am trying to do is maybe have you look at it differently. Maybe the way our generation views sex and love is WRONG. Maybe that’s why we are so hopelessly trying to fill the void inside of us with whatever we can get our hands on…whether it be sex..or money..or Coco Chanel bags (even though I am dying for one).
Maybe we need to change our ways so that way the next generation doesn’t have to be broken..and wander aimlessly around the earth trying to get high and fill their empty hearts with the next best thing.
My encouragement in saying all of the above is this:
YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR. (i just cant say it enough)
YOUR BODY IS A SACRED, HOLY PLACE. (Even though you may not think so)
YOU ARE SPECIAL
AND ABOVE ALL-YOU ARE LOVED
I hope this came out the way I intended.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (The Message)
16-20There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
2 Thessalonians 3:3, “The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.”
Hebrews 13:20-21, “May the God of peace…equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”
Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (NIV)